Losing Grip

Once you may feel so happy,
Life was perfect cause you can feel it,
That He was everywhere with you.

Now,
The busy world fools you,
Pulls you away from Him,
And all you do is let it be?

Lemahnya manusia,

Tapi tak mengapa,

Selagi hati mengingati Dia,

Jangan kita berputus asa.

That you, is me.

Now I'mma search for it back,
Cause life's empty without faith.

May Allah be with us! (:

Be Grateful

I've not posted anything for so long.
I hope this post will be beneficial for myself and others, insyaAllah.

SPM results! :O

I remember last year, I took my driving test on the same day when SPM results was announced. I hoped that I will pass my test, and have enough time to speed drive to Melaka, be with my friends, and get 11A+.

So, what really happened was,
I failed my test at around 12 pm.
I reached Melaka around 3.30 pm.
I didn't get 11A+ but well, it was good enough.
None of my batchmates was there when I arrived.
Nothing that I wanted, happened.

Heyy,
You can't always get what you want,
You get what you need.
Have faith, believe, that
He knows what is best for you.


Sometimes,
We find it hard to see a silver lining,
We thought that what we wanted was the best He could give,

We must remember that often,

What we want,

Might not be good for us.

"...But perhaps you hate a thing

and it is good for you,

And perhaps you love a thing

and it is bad for you,

And Allah knows, while you know not."

"...Boleh jadi kamu tidak menyenangi sesuatu

padahal itu baik bagimu,

Dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu

padahal itu tidak baik bagimu,

Allah Mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui."

Al Baqarah : 216

Hence, BE GRATEFUL.
Because only by acceptance and gratefulness,

that we are able to move forward,
Allah will always help those who are grateful and who believe.

"What will Allah do with your punishment,

if you are grateful and believe?

And ever Allah Appreciative and Knowing."

"Allah tidak akan menyiksamu,

jika kamu bersyukur dan beriman.

Dan Allah Maha Mensyukuri, Maha Mengetahui.

An Nisa' : 147

Remember,

That true happiness awaits those who believe.

"Allah extends provision for whom He wills and restricts it.

And they rejoice in the wordly life,

while the worldly life is not,

compared to the Hereafter,

except brief enjoyment"

"Allah melapangkan rezeki bagi sesiapa yang Dia Kehendaki,

dan Membatasi (bagi sesiapa yang Dia Kehendaki).

Mereka bergembira dengan kehidupan dunia,

padahal dunia hanyalah kesenangan yang sedikit,

dibanding kehidupan akhirat."

Ar Ra'd : 26

And if you ever feel demoralized or sad,

Remember the purpose of life,

And you'll realize,

That whatever problem you are having is very small.

On top of it all,

Remember Allah.

"...Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah,

hearts are assured. "

"...Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah,

hati menjadi tenteram."

Ar Ra'd : 28

Whatever happened, happens, or will happen, in your life,
Good or bad, BE GRATEFUL.
There's a reason why Allah made it that way.
Search for that reason.

Because as long as you seek for truth,
As long as you have faith in Allah,
As long as you remember Him,
True happiness awaits you.
And the wait itself, is true happiness.

How many mornings have you seen since you were born?
And if you can read this, you've just seen another morning!
Alhamdulillah! :D

Allah has given us so much,

How much have we done?

Anger

Often,

At those moments that you're trying to stay calm,

Simple actions just triggers your anger,

And you snap!

So yeah, that was what happened.

I EXPLODED. BOOOOM!

I didn't explode at the trigger though.

I tried my best to control my anger.

And because of that, I walked faster,

Back to my chalet.

But I just had to tell it off to someone.

I just had to let the volcano erupt .

And ohhh yes it erupted!

But that wasn't for long.

For He was always there.

And through a close friend of mine,

I was reminded,

About patience.

"And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord

And a garden as wide as the Heavens and Earth,

Prepared for the righteous.

Who spend (in the cause of Allah),

During ease and hardship,

And who restrain anger,

And who pardon the people,

And Allah loves the doers of good."

Al Imran : 133-134

And with those words of Allah,

I was consoled.

And tears rushed out,

Full of regret.

Astaghfirullah.

Betapa Dia masih menunjukkan aku jalan. Walaupun aku sering lupa. Subahanallah.

There's a Reason

Yesterday two people asked me,

"You want to go to US. So, why are you here doing A Levels?"

Obviously, they weren't the only two who had asked me that.

Frankly, sometimes I ask myself.

Okay, here's what I tell myself, when myself asked me the same question.

"You had a choice and your heart said KY. Back then, you weren't sure why.

As things get harder, life gets busier, studies gets more out of hand, you get more confused of why.

But look at you, you might not be what you are now, if you didn't choose KY.

You might not be who you are, if you didn't get the scholarship.

You might not be who you are now, if you chose TKC and not KYS.

Life is full of choices, you made your choice.

This might be a tougher path, but because you're able to do it, you chose those roads, this road.

Remember, Allah tak akan membebankan seseorang dengan apa yang tidak mampu dia tanggung.

You've made the right choice. There are things planned for you as you walk through this path.

You just have to be strong and search for it, don't waste the chance."

You know, it might be an easier path,

if I don't have to juggle my SATs and A Levels

together with the hectic KY life, ohh not to forget, in the middle of nowhere.

But maybe if that path was the path I chose,

I learn less, I take life for granted, I take Islam for granted.

I'm not syaing that that path my friends are on is easier than the path that I'm on.

I'm sure they too are learning about life, just like me.

But I believe that this is the best path for me.

As long as I choose to do things right,

InsyaAllah, I'll be a better person.

Everyone have their own opinion.

Their own thoughts.

Sometimes their right, and I'm wrong.

But I'll stick with my believe in this case.

I'm here for many reasons,

I've found part of it,

And along the way,

I'll keep on searching.

There's more than just A Levels here.

I believe He gave me the best. And I'm grateful.

Manifestos - Me - What's Next?

I consider myself average. Frankly, know little about the world.

But now, I should thank my friends; seniors, batchmates, bloggers,

For they have made me realise how important it is to stay updated,

And it isn't that hard anyway. I just have to be interested. And take initiative.

Where is all this suddenly coming from?

Manifesto Night.

I saw great characters in most of the candidates..

And they made me believe, not just in myself, but in the future.

If one can be great, why can't I?

They light up hope in me that the world is going to be a better place one day.

They faced intimidating questions with patience and confidence.

AND, some stood by their principle like a rock, ain't nothing shaking 'em.

I admire the courage and maturity that these people have,

and wondered, do I have them?

Cause it's very very crucial, that

1) we are able to express our concerns

2) we are able to think maturely to solve them

And this is in relation to the topic of discussion in IELTS class,

How are we going to save the world?

Because apparently, the world is falling apart. The system is not working.

And like it or not, we are the one carrying the huge responsibility,

As my IELTS teacher said,

"My generation has obviously given up.

And it's up to your generation to clean up our mess.

Or, your kids won't have a world to live in."

Start thinking carefully about this, about the social gap, about the environment, about the capitalism system, current politics, corruptions, wars....

And religion. Islam.

Because 10 years from now insyaAllah,

we can't just sit back and see the world collapse.

Do something useful before time's up.

And that includes changing ourselves.

Hey, change is tough.

But only through darkness that we might see light again

- Slavoj Zizek

Man can always plan and try,

But the rest is up to Him.

So why do nothing?

Life is a Test

True,

Humans are forgetful,

Human, yea, that's me.

Specially created.

As khalifah, as abid.

True,

That I knew,

Why I'm here.

But have I done enough?

Is it enough to just, know?

I'm human.

Forgetful.

So you came.

To remind me.

But you're just like me.

Human, need to be reminded.

I'm sorry.

But do you remember?

That I'm a girl.

Wanita adalah ujian terbesar dunia.

Notes

Woww. It has been a long long time since my last post. Internet connection in KY has not been good. So I couldn’t update my blog at the chalet. Anyway, a lot have happened. That includes SAT (ohh don’t ask me how it was :/) a book (a good one from a friend)  and people (you just can’t get away with it. People, we’re everywhere!).

 

After my SAT, I had a great time with my family. Well, obviously they tried to cheer me up. Turn out no good however. Because the very next day, I’m back in KY. You know this feeling, when I’m out of KY I want to be in KY so much. The minute I’m approaching tol Lembah Beringin, I want to cry as much. Then how la? Park the car in the middle. Heheh.

 

A book. It’s called VERSUS by the way. A malay novel. A normal storyline I guess. Not too thick. But I shall say that it reminds me of things about my life and my religion. And it gives me hope. No, not gives me, but, it reminds me, that I had this hope. This faith. And that I still have it. Like what’s written in the book, “untuk awak yang ingin berubah”. If that’s you then, give it a go. (:

 

People. People. People. A few notes I received from people this few weeks.

*Let you go. Totally let you go, if that’s what you want. Cause it’ll just hurt to not do that. Plus, pray for the best for you. InsyaAllah, things will be good for both of us.

*You’ve got a point there. Yeah, accept a person as someone new, not someone from the past. That made me think. Yeap it did. But will you do the same? Maybe we’ll soon find out. Maybe.

*Do not be in the same group with guys, I’ll end up doing the whole presentation slides on my own. But the presentation overall was good, guys. Thanks. :D

*Be yourself. Just be yourself. I’m sure people would like you for who you really are. Be in the moment. They’ll accept you, just the way I do.

*It’s hard to be a perfectionist, true. But if the satisfaction totally outweighs the hard work, I’ll be a perfectionist anyway. (:

*Don’t be afraid to make a change. Laugh together if people is laughing at you. As long as you know, that you are doing what is right.

I always need my reminder. Always.

 

Off for now. More to come soon, insyaAllah.

The Mind Just Keep Going

" Take a minute to just enjoy the world. Look around, listen to the world. And be amazed by Allah's creation "

One advice I gave to a friend; now forgotten, by me.

There's too much in mind right now. My studies going upside down. Out of place. My room is screaming at me, "Clean us up!". Not that bad, but yeah, to me, it is a mess right now. My books are whispering, "Read us, read us, there's a lot more you don't know". SAT Practice Scores are laughing at me. Swimming pool calling me. Badminton and netball. Econs homework. Physics handouts. MESSY MESSY MESS. That's how everything is now.

And the only thing I could think about is home.

Running away.

From everything.

If only I could get all the mess out of my head.

I need the reminder.

But then again...

Guess I've to find my missing strength.

Little Little Things

I woke up early to study SAT after Subuh. So I was reading the SAT essay question.

"Can the daily actions of average people have a significant impact on the course of history?"

It's subjective. There's no wrong answer.

I thought of how I should tackle the questions.

I'm a novice you see. So I just surf the net for info.

Then came out the name of these unknown people.

For me their unknown, I don't know about you.

Rosa Parks, Frank Will, and MaryBeth Tinker.

They made changes just by simple actions.

Then suddenly I remembered what a friend said to me.

"Walaupun ilmu agama kita tak banyak and we have inferior compared to other people yang lebih banyak ilmunya. Kita kena jugak memberi peringatan kepada orang lain. Sekadar menyampaikan ilmu yang kita ada. Tak payah tunggu dah jadi sangat baik baru nak berdakwah."

And what Kak KD said during ISK.

"Bukan berapa banyak yang kita tahu yang jadi ukuran. Tapi bagaimana kita amalkan apa yang kita tahu itu walaupun sedikit. Macam Sumaiyah. Nak bandingkan dengan kita, sikit je pengetahuan dia tentang Islam. Tapi pengorbanan dia untuk Islam melebihi kita yang dah berbelas tahun belajar Islam."

What I wanna relate to this issue is that, if everyone thinks their too small to make a change, then nothing is going to change. So it is important for us, average people, to believe that we can make a change or create history. Because every little good things we do, insyaAllah, will bring huge impact for others and ourselves.

"Hai orang-orang yang berselimut.

Bangunlah dan berilah peringatan!

Dan Tuhanmu Agungkanlah.

Dan pakaianmu bersihkanlah."

Al Mudassir 1-4

Life At A Different Perspective

Are you satisfied with life?

Is that just it?

Is it enough that there's love, there's friends, there's laughters and smiles.

Seek inside your heart, is there an emptiness that could be filled?

Or is it enough that your life just remain the same way?

Try to think and ask yourself,

What if there's a change I could make?

Will my life be better?

There was time when changes came too fast,

I knew it' was right but I feel so bad,

I questioned,

Why me? Why is this happening?

I panicked. I thought, ohh, now what?

My mind was a mess.

My heart was hurting, tearing itself apart.

But if only you take a little time to see,

To view life from a wider perspective.

Then I realized,

He made this happen,

He knows what is best.

I suddenly felt,

That it was the best feeling I ever had.

It is happiness, like never before.

I looked back smiling,

Grateful that I took that little time.

Think. Think about life.

I'm sure there's space,

To make a change for the better,

A change we'll never regret.

Pause Rose. Just Pause.

I thought life was unfair.
I thought everyone was.
I think I am.

I thought everything was so complicated.
I thought nothing could be in place.
I thought I messed up my puzzle.
I thought I'd give up watching the mess.

The mess I made that I regreted.
The time I wish could forever be erased.

But wait. Pause.



I forgot that there's Him.
The answer to my riddle.
The missing piece of my puzzle.

He gave me friends,
He gave me a true friend.
Through that,
He showed me ways.

Forgive me Allah,
For I didn't pause.
That I took a long time to see.
And along the way,
There's mistakes, mistakes, mistakes.

Too much that no one would care,
Too much that another chance will never be there.

To Him we should turn to, we should always do.
For when you've realize what went wrong,
He have always been and always will be,
The most forgiving.

Thank you Allah.